i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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