it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Randomize
