in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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