I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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