More tranny stories later!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
