We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
