I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Is her dick bigger than yours?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
