Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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