just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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