im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You need a sexual gate keeper
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
