In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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