its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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