This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Randomize
