you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize