there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
