I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
