tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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