im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
