You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
