atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
