Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
