Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
