Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
