She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
