Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
