scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
high people should be assigned attendants
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
