Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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