when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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