Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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