She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
