Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
i think my cat just said my name.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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