Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
