operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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