New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
