how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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