Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
