The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
