I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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