Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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