Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
