Do you still have your period?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
