i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
