Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
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