Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
We're too hungover to prance.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
