Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I want her autograph on my taint
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
