you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You ate ashes out of my bong
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
