Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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