I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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