that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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