i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
