Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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